i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
