hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
