dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
