My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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