We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
