question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
