It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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