defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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