the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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