That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
