Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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