just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
