What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
love makes seman taste better
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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