doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
