Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
