Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
