Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
