I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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