My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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