Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
