Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
