A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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