Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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