dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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