"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
