i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
