I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
