Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
