Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
