I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
