i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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