Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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