Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
