I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
