they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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