it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
