I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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