Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
