Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
