Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
