I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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