Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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