I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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