god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
