wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
