your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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