Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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