I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
