sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
