Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
